Wellness Series
Health is knowing how to create and cultivate close relationships with others1.
In our previous conversation, we discussed how to step toward creating good quality relationships with others; and we also encountered how self-hatred can block you from achieving that. Jesus fulfilled and taught us to “Love your neighbor as you love yourself” (Leviticus 19:18; Matthew 5:43-48) and “Whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them” (Matthew 7:12).
What are the signs of Self-love? Self-love is evident in you when:
1. You forgive others when they have wronged you and think they are right about their actions.
2. You admit when you’re at fault and seek reconciliation by apologizing or by listening to godly advice and doing it.
3. You treat your physical body well with adequate food, rest, and exercise.
4. You plan and work out your life’s dream by exercising your mind in positivity and goal-oriented thoughts.
5. You be transparent in how you feel—Yes is yes, and no is no.
6. You are led by the Holy Spirit when you don’t know which way to go. You fill your soul with the Holy Spirit in order to be led by Him.
7. You value the grace of God moving on your behalf; and give Him thanks. You don’t have to manipulate God to get what you need or want.
8. You master loneliness—being by yourself when others can’t understand you or resent/hate you because of your walk with Jesus.
When you practice loving yourself, the quality of relationships you have with others will improve.
Then Jacob asked, saying, “Tell me Your name, I pray.” And He said, “Why is it that you ask about My name?” And He blessed him there (Genesis 32:29).
Jacob may have asked His name to get confirmation that it was really God whom he was wrestling. It’s hard to believe that God would come and wrestle with a man, His own creation. But isn’t that exactly what loving parents do to their children? That wrestling was a form of chastisement—to force Jacob to wake up out of his delusion that he was o.k. Sometimes we are not o.k. and people around us can’t tell us that we’re off course because they can’t discern our inner thoughts or character.
God wants to use you to increase souls for His Kingdom. And in order to do that, He Himself has to get into your life and make you struggle with Him until you confess who you know you are; and repent. It is our Loving Father who uses the rod on us when we lose our way. And, after we find it, He blesses us.
That’s why it is so imperative that you don’t run away from God when times get hard, and you see no way out. It’s when we’re in the dark that we must draw closer to God. And, when we don’t even know we’re in the dark, He comes to us—at the right time, His time—to bring us into the break of day: to restore us, to bless us.
Aren’t you tired of fighting other people, of struggling with your own insecurities, and of complaining about everything wrong? Then get into a quiet place alone and wrestle with God. Take all your grief and frustration give it to God. Let Him hear it all in any language you prefer—pour it all out.
Be prepared for when He breaks you. Surely He will. Then rejoice for His blessing. That He surely will do, too.
But Esau ran to meet him and embraced him, and fell on his neck and kissed him, and they wept (Genesis 33:4).
It wasn’t Esau whose life was transformed. He wept only after receiving the gifts and the respect from Jacob’s family members. The transformation came for Jacob when he realized that he didn’t have to give those gifts out of fear of his brother’s plot to attack him with 400 armed men—a deceitful way to buy his brother’s love.
As Israel, he understood that his life had a greater purpose for the growth of God’s Kingdom; and that God changes the heart of men from plotting evil against His children to finding good favour for them when they—His children whom He’s chastised—walk in obedience to His Way and to His Word. It is good to give gifts—giving is good. But what was amiss in Jacob’s giving was his intent for giving.
Right now, take a look at your thoughts and actions and ask yourself, “Why am I thinking this; or doing that?” Then check the box: It is out of self-love. or It is out of self-hate. You must choose one box; because it’s impossible to live in both and experience the blessing of wellness.
© 2020 by Patience Osei-Anyamesem. All rights reserved. Published by Take My Hand Inspirations Mission. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or any other—without the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews or other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.
Unless otherwise stated, all scripture quotations are from The New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
1. From Travis, J. (1977). The Wellness Workbook. Mill Valley, CA, USA: Wellness Resource Center.
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